cool kid report

I was walking directly behind a girl, when she tripped and fell for no apparent reason other than the sidewalk being slightly uneven. I considered briefly stopping to help her up, but frankly, if I had fallen I think I would want the rest of society to just pretend it never happened. So instead, I walked around her and suppressed my chuckle until I was a few meters past her. I really think this was the most generous possible action on my part.

Now, before society sprang into existence, we had this neat little trick that would take care of problems like this. When someone fell down, a pack of wolves would catch them and eat them. Anyone who stopped to help them up would also be eaten.