cool kid report

Away Message:
oh man! i am houngry! time for a little din-din:-p
leave a cheery message:) and i'll talk to you when my tummy is plump full;) sanks!

Anyone who says the word "din-din" must be seperated from the rest of society, lest her niceness affect the rest of the world.

3 more emoticons
40 emoticons in 5 days.
I think 40 is too many for one lifetime.

Away Message:
i'n houngry!=-O time to eat lunchy-lunch!
mmMMMMMmmmmm:-p leave a happy message and i'll talk to you when my tummy is satisfied;) sanks!:-*

Yeah, binge and purge emoticons. I'll get right on that message. You just make me happy to be alive, it's the least I could do to talk to you.

Emoticons used: 3
Total: 37

Away Message:
i'n around...leave a cheery message and i'll come back;) sanks!


This is a pretty standard away message. Maybe I don't want to leave a cheery message though?

Emoticons: 1
More emoticons: 34

Away Message:
there are only like four important documents in back-up band history...

The back-up band is a little cult that sprang forth from the monstrosity that is our high school. Hard to mock such an away message.

Away Message:
shopping with the gals:)
and then spending "christie-liz time":-P
leave a happy message! sanksO:-) i heart you:-*

I hate you emoticons. I hate everything you stand for. I hate your mispellings, your girl attitude, and your tendency to use heart instead of a verb.

Emoticons used here: 4
Total emoticons or something: 33

Away Message:
ok, the day is over. Yay! Well, not over, but when classes are done the hard stuff is done, and I only have studio class left, and I like that one. Have a happy friday!


Don't try to push your happiness onto me jerk.

Away Message:
be yourself! spontaneous. never ordinary. completely genuine. :-)

have a wonderful day:-P leave a happpy message to make me smile;-) i would just love that! sanks:-*

How can you tell me to be myself and at the same time ask for a happpy (sic) message?

Crappy emoticons this time: 4
Crappiness level of emoticons: (1000)!
Total emoticons used since a while ago: 29

Away Message:
"nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be so hard, I'm going back to the start..." Is it 5:00 yet?

When one quotes things, one should identify the source of the quote. In this case it's some band. If you ever write a song I'm going to mangle the quotation and not attribute it to you and then some third party will be here making fun of me. Then how will you feel?

Away Message:
I'm sick, I'm crabby, I'm tired, I'm reading Harry Potter, and then I'm going to bed. Tomorrow can only get better.

Please support this conclusion with data.

Away Message:
yay:) go twins:) ding!:)
i'm around the apartment, give me a call!;) i would just LOVE that:-P sanks!:-*

6 emoticons is as many as I've ever seen someone do in a single away message. The "ding" seemed a little unecessary. You also spelled thanks wrong.

Emoticons: 6
Total emoticons: 23

Away Message:
I'm sick, I'm crabby, I'm tired, I'm reading Harry Potter, and then I'm going to bed. Tomorrow can only get better.

I mean come on, why don't you just start bearing his children and get it over with?

Away Message:
Probably doing some combination of homework and Harry Potter.


ng(t)=nCr(hw, HP)?

Away Message:
"When you arise every morning, think about what a precious privilege it is to be alive-to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love." - Marcus Aurelius (stolen from logan-bogan:) i love you logie!)

Logan-Bogan? I prefer Logan-Rogan. I think this is an all-time low on emoticons. Maybe because of the quote, or maybe she's only 1x happy instead of 5x.

Here: 1
Total: 17

Away Message:
I'm excited for today for some reason. I feel somewhat healthy, and it's sunny, and yeah... I am excited, and I LOVE it!!!

Are you ever not excited? Is there anything you don't love? Enjoy your crappy day. Your time is nigh!

Away Message:
I have ready so much Harry Potter over the course of being sick, it's just insane. But Anna Karenina is just not the light reading I'm going for right now. I'm reading some more Harry Potter, and then I'm going to bed. Granted, this means that I'll have huge amounts of homework tomorrow, but that's ok. I mean, this is Harry Potter we're talking about! :-) Sweet dreams!

You like Harry Potter too much. Make me a pie.

Away Message:
I love my ultimate team! Last week was 17-1. This week, 16-0. We're AWESOME! I'm around the room, probably eating chicken noodle soup and watching some West Wing with Carolyn.

Oh frisbee, why must you exist? Also, I have no evidence so far to believe Carolyn inhabits this plane of existence.

Away Message:
against the orders of Dr. Mom, I'm out playing frisbee. Hopefully we'll have a repeat of last weeks 17-1 game!

With you there, I can't imagine any other outcome.

Away Message:
It's Harry Potter/Nap Time!! I've waited for this all day... :-)

So are you going to play the audiobook while you sleep or what? Also, leave the emoticons to Emoticons girl.

Away Message:
writing the psych paper I didn't feel well enough to write last night, but last night was better than this morning. Is this irony, or just bad luck?

It's definitely irony.

Away Message:
i'n oh so tired! but alas, it is classtime once again!
leave a message to make me giggle!:-p that would be just wonderful;) have a great day!:-*

You see, she's tired, but still happy.

More stupid emoticons: 3
Total stupid emoticons: 16

And so I awoke, with drool on my pillow and an urge to check on Ingrid. Sure enough, the best that is Emoticons is prowling once more.

Away Message:
yay for a thoughtful roomie:) it just made my night!
and now i think i'll go to sleep, scince it is now 1:15 am...oh geez...and i still have homework to do:-/
leave a cheery message, i would just like that:) sanks;) nitenite

Don't we all love her roommate. I'm just in denial about the number of emoticons here.

NEU: 4
TNE: 13

Away Message:
let's take a minute to focus on how much i HATE midi!>:o
it is going to be a late night folks:-/...leave a cheery message:) i would just like that! sanks;)

Just to clear up an confusion, MIDI stands for Musical Instrument Digital Interface and is basically the perfect way to encode any song into an audio file. The fact that Emoticons can't appreciate MIDI is due to the fact that she longs for analog warmth. However, it's robots who write the music now, jerk.

Emoticons used: 4
Running total: 9

Too Many Emoticons girl also went to my high school. She's pretty happy in real life, but not dangerously nice. However she has the annoying habit of using rougly three emoticons per message, as well as including the words, "leave a cheery message" "make me laugh/smile" "that would be great" as well as some variant of "sanks" or "pleeeze" Maybe people at her school talk like that. If so, it would be a good starting point for a societal "black hole," a location where we could send people like this without having to worry about them returning. In any case, witness the ridiculousness:

Away Message:
mmmMMMMMmmm ICE CREAM!:-P
and then practicing and writing a blues in pmc:-/ and doing MIDI>:o
leave a cheery message:) sanks;)

Such brilliant potential for failure. I'd like to keep a running tally just so we could go around saying, "Guess who used more than 1000 emoticons over the course of one year?"

Emoticons in this message: 5
Total recorded emoticons: 5

Away Message:
I feel sick and I can't comprehend what I'm studying anymore so I'm going to bed, only to wake up early in the morning to finish the homework that isn't going to happen tonight. Grrr... Tomorrow I have 2 tests and a psych presentation. Oh well.

Ha ha ha ha. Oh nice girl, you sound so angry when you say "Grrr." Like a demon shooting forth from hell. Try channeling that rage into something more productive, like flying a kite, or building a sand castle, or building a cocoon to shield yourself from society.

nice girl says:

Away Message:
estoy muy enferma, y por eso estoy en mi cama, leiendo Harry Potter y La Orderna de la Pheonix. A mi me gusta mucho el libro, pero que lastima que no podere jugar frisbee esta noche! Chispas!!!

babelfish says:

Away Message:
I am very ill, and for that reason I am in my bed, leiendo Harry Potter and the Orderna of the Pheonix. To my I like much the book, but that hurts that podere not to play frisbee tonight! Sparks!

jerk says:

Away Message:
I am being punished for having no soul and performing acts of leiendo, Harry Potter is the heathen script which give me the idea. I read it so people will like me, but it hurts my podere when people throw frisbees at me. Help me!

Away Message:
I am so not feeling well...


Well, it seems the house of cards that was your happiness has come tumbling down. Maybe if you hadn't put so much effort into being healthy, sickness wouldn't be such a great burden. I'll send a robot to attend your funeral and put shameflowers on your grave.

Now I would like to share with you a different way to make fun of people on instant messenger. Recently I had a conversation with a girl who went to my high school. Now because this girl never actually takes the time to hang out with me, she is not aware of the following items (among others) about me:

• I call everyone jerk.


• I make fun of everyone.


• I have no emotions and therefore don't get mad easily.

As a result of this, combined with the fact that she's a whiney, needy girl with low self-esteem, the following conversation occured:

Session Start (captainmathteam:danajo31415): Sun Sep 28 19:30:33 2003
[19:30:34] danajo31415: hey!
[19:30:43] captainmathteam: what?
[19:31:03] danajo31415: what?
[19:31:08] danajo31415: i just said hey
[19:31:24] captainmathteam: okay
[19:31:29] danajo31415: crabby?
[19:32:07] danajo31415: hello?
[19:32:30] danajo31415: ok see ya
Session Close (danajo31415): Sun Sep 28 19:33:27 2003


Session Start (captainmathteam:danajo31415): Mon Sep 29 17:10:33 2003
[17:10:33] danajo31415: hello ben
[17:10:42] captainmathteam: hey jerk
[17:10:47] danajo31415: what
[17:10:54] danajo31415: why are you so mean to me
[17:11:06] captainmathteam: must be the lunar cycle
[17:11:12] danajo31415: no seriosly
[17:11:18] danajo31415: whats the deal
[17:11:27] danajo31415: you were mean yesterday too
[17:11:33] danajo31415: it makes me sad
[17:12:11] danajo31415: ben??
[17:12:13] captainmathteam: you seem pretty sad
[17:12:22] danajo31415: huh??
[17:16:24] danajo31415: ben
[17:16:29] captainmathteam: yeah
[17:16:41] danajo31415: whats the deal??
[17:16:52] captainmathteam: there's no deal Dana
[17:16:55] danajo31415: cmon dude
[17:17:01] danajo31415: ben your being mean
[17:17:05] danajo31415: whats going on?
[17:17:16] captainmathteam: I'm Ben
[17:17:28] danajo31415: yes you are
[17:17:36] danajo31415: and your being mean
[17:17:38] danajo31415: and it makes me sad
[17:18:01] captainmathteam: okay
[17:19:47] danajo31415: ben!!!
[17:19:52] danajo31415: why are you mad at me?????!!!!
[17:20:31] captainmathteam: stop trying to apply your girl emotions to me Dana
[17:20:56] danajo31415: I am so confused right now
[17:23:01] danajo31415: so are you mad at me???
[17:23:12] captainmathteam: no
[17:23:32] danajo31415: ok
[17:23:39] danajo31415: good
[17:23:47] danajo31415: then everything is settled
[17:24:06] captainmathteam: yeah, thank goodness

-Pause pointless conversation-
At this point I took a break and reflected on this absurd question. With Steph's help I decided that "What? Okay" is my new code for "I hate you", since that's why I did to be so mean to her in the first place.
-Resume pointless conversation-

[17:36:16] danajo31415: ok i'm gonna say bye now, cause i can tell somethings wrong and your being mean
[17:36:19] danajo31415: bye
[17:36:39] captainmathteam: what?
[17:36:39] captainmathteam: okay
Session Close (danajo31415): Mon Sep 29 20:37:28 2003

I don't think this ridiculous thread of conversation is over, so I'll bring you more whining from You hate me girl.

Away Message:
On the season premiere of Alias last night, the bad guys were talking in russian, and I totally understood a sentence or two. It rocked! Can you guess what subject I'm studying?


Oh you're watching TV now? Pretty original. I bet you're the most popular kid in school. Also, I don't like your assumption that all Russians are bad guys. That's just mean.